Departure Day

Today is Departure Day...September 10, 2012.  

After scouring through tons of blogs and articles, I created my list of things to bring.  Then I packed my bag.  Then I unpacked my bag and repacked two more times to try to get stuff in, deleting a few things here and there.  Seriously?!  The darn thing is STUFFED!  I don't know how it all fit.  My packing list is long, but it's rather sparse if you think about how long I'll be gone.  Who would've thought one could live on a pair of jeans, a pair of yoga pants and a pair of khakis as their only pants for a year or more!  After I got it all in there snug as a bug in a rug, poof!  My sense of accomplishment vanished when I saw the pile of electronic stuff still sitting on the floor.  Somehow I managed to pack it all into little crevasses here and there.

My backpack weighs about 40-45 lbs, I think. The stupid outside casing that REI sold me was a pain in the ass to get around my backpack. They supposedly recommend that you put an outer pack around your backpack in order to keep your straps secure. I don't know if it will do any good. The darn thing doesn't even have a strap to hold onto in order to grab your bag. We shall see!  I'm afraid that the huge thing will be too heavy for me (then again, maybe I'll come back all buff and stuff).  

Some would say the adventure finally begins.  It's hard to call in an adventure when I leave with such a heavy heart...but I am trying to remain positive and excited for this huge change in my life.

Several friends and my family came to the airport to see me off. What a tearful and sad goodbye! I have always had this need to be surrounded by people. My friends are always a huge part of my support network. My mom has been a lot of support and a good friend.  My brother and I are very close and he is one of my besties.  And here I go...off into the big, scary world to find some soul food, embrace life and God's creations, follow my heart and discover myself.  Alone.  OK, OK, that's a bit cliche, but seriously that's what I'm hoping to do.  How will I fare without frequent contact? Will I be lonely? If I am, how will I cope?  I must turn to God and trust that He will carry me when I need it.  I cried as I left my friends and family, I cried on the plane and I've cried many times while waiting for my connecting flight. The tears are from a whole host of issues.

As I ponder this journey upon which I'm embarking, I think my most significant emotions are trepidation, sadness and anxiety.  To leave behind all of your family and friends in exchange for the life of a nomad volunteer is not something people do every day and it's certainly not something I'm familiar with. Am I really on a plane with nothing more than a very large backpack and an over-the-shoulder, purse-size bag? Me? The girl who loves her mani/pedis, is a shoe whore, changes outfits 5x before going out on a Saturday night and has to match from head-to-toe?!?! Sure, I'm resourceful. I was a Girl Scout, after all, but I never expected that a simpler, less "cluttered" life would be more appealing than the daily grind and the American mentality of owning STUFF.

I am struggling with this decision I think simply because I personally know no one who has ever done anything like this...and don't even try to tell me that backpacking Europe is like this. Trust me; I've heard that. No. Sorry. Backpacking in Third World countries is not like backpacking in Europe. Yes, part of my journey will be in Europe, but much of it will be far less civilized. Anyway, sorry if that sounded like a tirade.  It's all a bit scary and I find myself without a lot of guidance.

I think I'm also a bit anxious because I feel both over-packed and under-packed. I have no idea if all the blogs and articles I've read actually contain sound advice for a trip like this. It feels weird to me that I know I will be in Mexico for at least a month and I have only 4 tank tops, 2 sundresses, 1 short skirt and three pairs of shorts (all the rest is colder weather gear). How many times will I have to do laundry? Yikes. Also,will I really need that collapsible bowl and cup? Will I need the knife and other safety stuff? Frankly, I hope not! Wouldn't it be nice if the need never arose for those things?

Now I have a new anxiety...my connecting flight in Oakland, CA, is delayed by more than 2 hours.  My ride to the orphanage is supposed to be picking me up at noon!  I have no way to get in contact with the administrator because I've already disconnected by cell service.  I sent an email, but I have no idea if he gets emails on his phone.  Ugh.  I'm just hoping that since he has my flight number, he will know about the delay and wait for me!

Well, anyway away I go! Wish me well and please pray for my safety and God's guidance in all that I do.