I left my job at the end of June and I haven't really looked back. My stress level has decreased dramatically! My massage therapist can actually fell the difference in my back and neck. Giving up my law practice (I still don't know if that's permanent or temporary) was the best decision I've made in a really long time! The stress was killing me and my heart wasn't in it. Maybe this trip will change that; maybe it won't. Only God knows the answer to that one.
I've spent the last two months enjoying life. To just BE is a profound feeling. I honestly thought that with no job I would go crazy and feel the need to do things. Not so. Well, let me clarify. I've felt the need to live! Really live. Like waking up every day and find something for which I am thankful, rather than waking up to start thinking about the stress of work and getting my ass into the office. Like taking a nap in the middle of the day because I can. Like taking a spur of the moment trip to the beach or camping. Things that we all take for granted or have to make a plan for, I just did. I actually stopped checking my calendar and email every day. Do you know how liberating that is?! I feel like my natural free spirit has been able to grow and peace fills my thoughts more often than not.
My upcoming departure has given me new perspective on a lot of things. Most importantly, I feel that I have finally let go. Let go of that "life vision" I once had for myself. You know, the one where we fantasize as little kids about who we're going to be when we grow up? Well, when that life vision is no longer making you happy, it's time to make a change. For me, making the change was hard, but letting go of the life vision was even harder. I feel at peace with my decision though. I've also been extremely humbled by my friends and family. The grace, care, compassion and support they've provided has been so wonderful. Some call it karma, others something else. Whatever it is, I'm grateful.
As I make my final preparations, anxiety has started to kick in. Do I have the right equipment? Will I have access to WiFi so I can keep everyone up-to-date? What sort of phone should I take/buy? How many pairs of socks do I need? What are the right travel shoes? Am I going to be able to carry that ridiculously large backpack? Will everything fit in it? Ugh. So, I try to just focus on one task at a time.
Yesterday, I died my hair brown for safety reasons. I'm hoping it will enable me to blend in a little better. It feels weird. My hair has never been this dark! I'm a dirty blond who's had blond highlights for decades, not this person staring back in the mirror with dark brown hair and dark eyebrows. Nonetheless, I got one more thing done and checked off my list! Next? Today I bought my travel insurance. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's medical insurance, baggage insurance, passport insurance and a bunch of other stuff rolled into one. That was a chunk of change that took my breath away! Oh well. It's necessary.I fly out on September 10th for my first destination: an orphanage in Mexico called Door of Faith. A special thanks must go out to some great friends for helping me make that connection. I am truly blessed. Thank you.
From there, I don't know my next stop, but I trust God's guidance and protection. My "plan" is to stop at another orphanage or hunger feed on the way into Central America. I'm hoping Door of Faith will be able to help me find the right thing. After that, I intend to explore Central and South America. After that? Don't know. Maybe Australia. Maybe SE Asia. All I know is that I'm trying to coordinate my trip around global weather to avoid crappy weather as much as possible, so I don't have to pack for too many climates.
Now, as I sit on the precipice of my departure date, things are getting real. Holy crap! Am I really leaving? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. Am I excited? Yes! These goodbyes are so hard, and I really hope to make it through all the tears. Keep your fingers crossed and the prayers coming!
