The Idea Solidified

            When I started this journey of self-exploration, I had been a practicing lawyer for nearly 13 years.  Well, that’s not true.  This journey began over three years ago.  I didn’t realize at the time that it was the beginning of a much bigger adventure, and I had no idea where it would take me.  Little did I know that my journey would lead me to a decision of such profound proportions.

            As I contemplated from where I’d come and what I’d accomplished, I realized that I had achieved my life’s goals, which were fairly uninspired – you know, good grades, a résumé full of interesting things, a good job practicing law and ultimately making partner – but the problem was that I never planned for what would happen after achieving those goals.  I found myself wasting away in an unhappy life, behind an unhappy desk, working an unhappy job and filling my social calendar to avoid too much introspection.  Busy people are happy people, right?  I’d achieved so much and received so many blessings (hurdles and tragedies too, of course) and honestly believed that I should be able to find happiness.  The truth is, however, that I had felt dissatisfied and uninspired for several years. 

            A crossroads.  No direction.  Where to go from here?  Practicing law is about the only thing I’d known.  Now what?  To answer that question, I embarked on a quest to discover what I DO like and what I DO want.           Trust me, that’s a scary thing to do.  So, I slowed down and reflected more.  In the quiet moments, I could see my life from 10,000 feet in the air and avoid the distractions of daily life.

            While pondering the question of “now what?” and crying a few tears of frustration, it hit me!  I felt like I’d just gotten smacked in the forehead by The Incredible Hulk.  You know that sudden realization when the thing about which you’ve been dreaming can actually be a reality?  The moment when time stops and that little guy on your shoulder screams, “Hey, idiot!  Pay attention!  I’m talking to you!  And what I’m telling you is to stop worrying about it, and just do it!” 

            The thing about which I’d been dreaming was traveling the world and writing a book or two or three, maybe a blog too.  But on that day, I realized that what had been holding me back was the notion that it was a selfish thing to consider (giving up a career for the sake of some wanderlust or something like that), but I also realized it didn’t need to be selfish.  The truth is, my soul had been screaming to give back.  I’ve known for years that the most powerful thing in life is the reward received when giving.  In that instant, I made a decision: I was going to travel the world, give back to humanity, and write all the words that filled my heart. 

            Having made the decision, I felt remarkable.  I felt liberated from the tangled web of pain, lies, drama, work, tediousness, anger, hate and dissatisfaction that had been plaguing my mind for over three years. 

            Wow!  I need this.  I need this like a plant needs water, like a farmer needs seeds, like a turtle needs a shell and like a congregation needs a pastor.  Get it?  I need this journey so badly that it will ultimately provide me all the necessary things in life: water, sustenance, shelter and spirituality.  Soul rejuvenation at its finest!  So, I’m going to take the time to do it.  If I don’t, I will be just another one of those discontent souls bumbling through life, waiting for something to happen.  I cannot wait for my life to simply happen.  Not anymore.  I am going to seize my life and LIVE it!

            My departure is just less than three months away and I can feel the excitement building!  I can taste it!  The planning is underway and I could not be happier (ask anyone, they’ll tell you they can see it on my face and feel it in my aura).  So, here we go!